You may find it helpful to further contemplate the value of our services and approach by reading the example scenarios below.
The Starting Premise
Mom and Dad have diligently prepared their trust. They own their own home and have a variety of financial assets like IRAs, life insurance policies, etc. Over the years they have accumulated various material items such as cars, a boat, jewelry, good quality furniture and, of course, various items of sentimental value.
Mom and Dad have two children, 51-yo Susan and 45-yo John. Susan lives nearby and has a family of her own. She helps Mom and Dad out a lot and it’s not difficult to imagine her being the primary caretaker when the time comes, although she tends to get stressed easily and isn’t good with numbers. She does sometimes help out with making sure the property tax bill gets paid and discussing possible major purchases with her parents. Johnny is single and has a high-level corporate job that requires good organization skills and attention to detail, but he lives in another state and is not currently “hands on” with family matters.
Mom and Dad think John would be the best choice as executor due to his career in the financial industry and his personal characteristics of level-headedness and being good with details. Their trust states that, as executor, he will be paid a specific monetary sum in addition to the 50% estate inheritance he will share with Susie. Mom and Dad have also specified they want Susan to have a (different) specific monetary sum in return for her help thus far and for her anticipated help in the future.
They sign the will and trust and file it with their lawyer and put a copy in their safe-deposit box. They agree there’s no need to tell Susie and Johnny anything now; there’s plenty of time.
The next week, Mom and Dad go on vacation in Spain, where they decide to participate in the running of the bulls. Susan gets a call from the Spanish police to say Mom and Dad have been trampled in the melee.
What now?
Issue 1:
The (Unfortunately) Likely Scenario
Susan knows her parents have made out a will. She also knows they have a file cabinet where they keep their important papers. She’s sure the will is in there somewhere. If not, she thinks she remembers their lawyer’s name. John has no idea what his parents have or have not documented in the event of their death; he never thought something would happen to them so soon, and certainly never imagined losing both of them at the same time.
The It’s Your Loss Scenario
Susan has received a copy of the trust. She also has the It’s Your Loss Death Preparation Package (DPP), including the EISL document that gives her information about where papers are filed, lists her parents' bank account information, and identifies where their safety deposit box and the key that opens it is located. She has the lawyer’s name and contact information for any questions. Thanks to the It's Your Loss Explanation meeting, she knows John will be the Executor. John also has the DPP and was present when his parents reviewed their wishes and the details with Susan.
Issue 2:
Susan thinks her parents should be buried at the cemetery in their hometown. Mom and Dad have sometimes talked about a nice plot near the lake, but Susie isn’t sure if that was their definitive plan and/or if they followed through in any way. She finds it comforting to think of them being nearby and envisions herself visiting their grave sites occasionally.
John thinks it would be easier to have Mom and Dad cremated. It’s more cost-effective, and John is almost certain he would never go to the cemetery. In fact, he likes the idea of having an urn with at least some of their ashes in his possession, since he anticipates continuing to move around the country to pursue better job opportunities.
The (Unfortunately) Likely Scenario
Susan thinks she’s right about the cemetery since she knows Mom and Dad talked about it and it’s of value to her. John thinks Susan is being emotional and impractical, like she’s always been. Susan can’t understand why John is so head-strong and dismissive of her wishes. But she’s sad and lost and overwhelmed and doesn’t know if she’s up for a fight with him.
The It’s Your Loss Scenario
Mom and Dad documented their plans on the It’s Your Loss Remains Disposition and Memorial Service Planning form. They have purchased side-by-side plots at the local cemetery. Everything has been paid for, and the details and the receipt are in the It’s Your Loss Death Preparation Package. This same document contains Mom and Dad’s wishes regarding a memorial service and quite a bit of detail about how they hope the service will be arranged.
Additionally, Mom and Dad communicated these wishes to Susan and John during the It’s Your Loss Explanation meeting. John had a chance to express a desire to have something tangible to make him feel closer to his parents and admitted that he was unlikely to visit the cemetery. The family brain-stormed other ways to help John feel close to his parents. Eventually it was decided he would get Mom and Dad’s wedding rings and that they could be displayed in a snow-globe-like object that he could easily look at whenever he wanted to feel their presence.
During the Explanation meeting, Susan and John both expressed ideas for activities they thought would comfort them and other family and friends at the memorial service. Mom and Dad clarified the things that were most important to them but were also touched that Susan and John both seemed so invested in honoring them in the best way possible. The It's Your Loss team updated the original draft of the EISL document and the accompanying forms after the meeting in order to reflect the final decisions. All participants were given copies of Mom and Dad's DPP.
Although the discussions reflected the usual set of family dynamics and brought up some old issues, everyone agreed it also cleared the air a little and gave each of them a better understanding of the others' perspectives.